Sunday, June 9, 2013

who needs cars anyway when we have segways?

My former latest wish was to travel across America on one of these:

About Segway

It says it right there, "green transportation". I could travel across America and save the world at the same time. These two wheeled vehicles can reach up to the crazy super sonic speed  of 12.5 mph! They are the coolest things since PopTarts! I was thinking of being the first person to go and face the odds on a dangerous journey across the country on one of these things, only to find out that somebody already has. It took this dude approximately 100 days to do it, but he did. He had to quit his job to do it, but he pursued his dreams so I guess that's the important thing....yeah-no. He had a friend film his experience on the way, so there's a documentary about him called 10 mph, Boston to Seattle. Wow...thrilling, I'm which I mean, BORING! If I did it first it would have been exciting. Meh.
I'll have to figure out a new way to change the coarse of human history with a segway. Or maybe there are better things to do with my time. Speaking of better things to do, I should skip on off the computer and get ready to mow a lawn.

Adios my friends!
 -the gnome

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

a good day

Yesterday was a good day. Nothing spectacular happened, but all day I just felt like I was clothed with a warm glow of happiness.
 In the early afternoon, Emily and I started to listen to the audio book titled "The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde". Man, that story is creepy. As Wooster would put it, it's one of those spine freezing novels.
 After listening to that for a while,  and making good progress on  a bracelet I had been working on, Josh, Emily, and I went on a very pleasant bike ride with Bethany and the kids. The day was so beautiful! I can't describe my feelings very well about the day, only that it was just intensely enjoyable.
Oh, also, that morning Bethany had her first utrasound of the new baby, and everything looks fine. So that was something to celebrate. I'm looking forward to meeting my new niece or nephew! :D
Yesterday, Josh and I also made progress in our running abilities. We can now run for eighteen minutes in two miles. Or two miles in eighteen minutes. We almost passed out, but we did it! And, I don't know if any of you feel like this too, but after exercising I just feel so alive. Tired and in pain, but that's a sign of life.
We then ate supper and, after I cleansed myself in the shower, Emily, Josh and I took off to cheer on the RHCC softball team.
 Walking in, I had an interesting experience. It was like I was thrown into the twilight zone unexpectedly. The siblings and I walked in the baseball complex with a wandering soul, shivering with a slushy the color of all purpose cleaner, (aka...Seth), and nobody recognized me. When one of our friends called to Emily from afar and asked, "Who's that with you?", we were confused and I thought that our friend, Kelsey by name, was wondering who Seth was. Weird. Seth isn't that hard to recognize from afar. After Emily's, "What?", and Kelsey's repeated "Who's that?", and Emily's "Huh?", we reached the bleachers and by that time Kelsey said, "Oh, it's Kirsten. I didn't recognize you."
"What? You didn't recognize me?" said I, agape. I have known Kelsey for years. And my impromptu incognitoness didn't end there. Julia, who I have known since I was in diapers, followed up with, "Oh, I didn't recognize you either."
It was because my hair was wet and down, Kelsey saying that it changed the look of my face. It makes sense, it was just a strange feeling walking up to people I've  known for years and seeing the look of, "Who is that person?", on their faces. Because after my experience with Julia, I walk up to my friends Jaimee and Ali and it took them a few seconds to register who I was. And then Ali's mom comes up a few minutes later and says, "Oh, hi! I was about to ask who Ali's new friend was, but it's just you. You look different with your hair down, and it looks darker too."
I had to laugh! It was, indeed, an interesting experience.
The softball game was fun to watch. And it was great to laugh and talk with my friends.
Driving home, the siblings and I had an encounter with a train. Trains are usually annoying, but this one was unusually annoying. Pulling up, there was about four cars and a motorcycle ahead of me, all facing a stagnant train. I say "stagnant", because it wasn't moving. It sat there while the pleasant "ding! ding! ding!" of the warning lights did their blinking thing at us. And we sat there. And we sat there. And we...sat there. Then, after attempting to amuse ourselves with singing, the train moved!...about six inches forward....and then after a time, six inches backward....and then it stopped. Approximately five to ten minutes of stagnant train observing ensued before an intelligent  Harley biker dude ahead of us revved his engine and preformed a U-turn, buzzing off in the opposite direction. Inspired,  everyone followed suit. The train still hadn't budged after I did a Y-turn and drove off. Yes, trains are annoying.
 So after making a longer-than-necessary detour through town, the siblings and I finally stumbled through the back hall door of the kitchen to the lovely smell of Mom's rhubarb cobbler.
It was a good day.

Until next time!
-The Gnome

Friday, April 12, 2013

a slump: part two

This is part two of my slump. After watching another episode of BBC's Robin Hood, I have decided that the show is still awesome. Someone needs to punch Robin Hood for me though. He is still a jerk. But at least he's not a heart broken jerk.

Here is the gang at their toughest:

Allan a Dale, Will Scarlet, and Much are my absolute favorite characters. Robin Hood's cool. I envy his talent with the bow but not his people skills. They stink most of the time.

This is the gang at their finest:

I'm happy now. They're all alive, except for one dude and a few other people. But we'll see. Shows like this can take bad turns sometimes. At least the first season is tolerable.

Until next time,
-The Gnome

a slump

I am in a slump this morning. I couldn't sleep well last night because I wanted to line up a few villains and give each of them a good beating and cry at the same time. If any of you have watched BBC's Robin Hood you'll understand. The effects in that show are extremely cheesy, and the first episode is cringe worthy because Robin Hood is a jerk, but the rest of the show is awesome (until now). I almost want to become an outlaw and hang out in the woods. But now...the first season is ending and I am mad. This show is almost as bad as the movie Joan of Arc. I cried for upwards of five minutes after that movie ended because this girl devotes her life and services to a prince of France, and then he just lets her burn at the stake. That movie was a downer. And so is Robin Hood.
 I think I need to go drink my morning coffee. Maybe that will make me feel better. And I promised you all that I wouldn't make this blog my weekly therapy season, and by posting this I am breaking that promise. Don't worry, it shan't happen often. I just need to rant and rave a bit. Maybe foam at the mouth a little just to cool off.

-The Gnome

Thursday, February 14, 2013

happy love appreciation day

Since today is a national holiday I thought maybe I should recognize it with a brief post.  Bethany (my sister) loves Valentine's Day. I don't know why. I don't get  day off of school for it...sooo...what's the point? No, I do like the chocolate and all the decorations in the stores. Here's a song for all you single people without a true luuve (you have to say it like a hippie) to rock out to, or for all you married people to laugh at.
I suppose there are other things to look forward to other than the whole luuve aspect of the day. Take yesterday for an example. Laura, Bethany and kids, Emily and I went to a lovely coffee shop all in Valentine's Day knee socks. That was fun. And then today my family is going to make a nice dinner because Mom and Dad want something special yet they don't want to brave the crowds of luuve at restaurants.
 So, that was brief, and now I have to go save the world as a ninja. Happy Love Appreciation Day!
Until next time!
-The Gnome Ninja

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

paper clips

Ok, so sitting there is your average paper clip, right? Boring but useful and very effective. I mean, without these guys your papers would flying everywhere and your life would be in total disarray! [I just won't mention here that I have not used a paper clip at all this year] But what would happen if you could do away with the whole "boringness" factor so that all you're left with is useful, very effective and awesome? (The word "awesome" is terribly overused. But I shall not lament over the diminishing English vocabulary at this present moment for your comfort and for mine.) So, as I was wasting my life away on the internet again today, I happened upon a few photos of other peoples ingeniousness of which I shall display here.
Airplane Paper Clips - I need these, they look like the shuttle riding piggyback!See? Isn't this a lot better than your plain old paper clip? It's an old plane clip. Not a plain old clip...but an old plane clip...get it. [laugh at stupid pun here]

The Container Store > Bicycle Paper ClipsBike clip...
squirrel away your paper clipsSQUIRREL!!!
Penguin Paper ClipPenguin clip...
wonder if i can get extra credit, turning in my papers clipped with a heart. hmmCool DIY love paper clips which are awesome. (there's that word again...)  It is going to be Valentines day soon, so I'll have to remember this if I randomly want to clip stuff... although I seriously doubt that's going to happen. But what if I someday get married, and it's Valentine's Day and my husband wants papers to be paper clipped, and then I could do this and he would be happy. Or he wouldn't even notice. I suppose there's that to think of. Maybe he wouldn't even care and I just ruined a perfectly nice paper clip.
Cute coat-hanger paper clipsHanger clips...
squirrel away your paper clipsSQUIRREL!!!
Moustache Paper Clips :: Desk Accessories :: Home and Office :: - Luxury Gifts For Men - The Inside ManThe picture says it all. How does that overly used facebook phrase go? Oh yes... LOVE!! I know a few people (other than me) who would adore these paper clips.
Romeo (:/)Romeo and Juliet clips. (young sweet!)
paper clipsAnd for those of you who now have a greater appreciation for paper clips, after reading this post you can go and get (or make) your very own paper clip carpet!

Who knew that something so boring could be so amazing? (notice...that I refrained from the word awesome and used the word amazing instead.)

Until next time!
-The Gnome

Monday, February 11, 2013

the prince in shining blue armor

Enameled Leather Armor

Look at him...some may say he's handsome...others (like me) may use different words to describe him. As I was surfing on Pinterest this evening I realized how ridiculous some of the "Fantasy Medieval" photo posses are. What would you say he's doing? Tracking down evil ghoulish ogres who have mercilessly taken his sworn love captive or something? Why else would he be kneeling down while squinting determinedly off into the distance while slightly gripping his sword handle as if he was thinking, "By the Moon and Stars above I will scour every crevice of this blasted enchanted forest until my love and I are again united"?
And another thing that has peaked my attention; his fashion statement of dead animal fur that graces his highness's shoulders. Of what use is it? Well, I suppose you could ask of what use is bright blue armor! I do think the way they made the blue fade from dark to light was creative. Also the way they made the boots is pretty awesome! I wonder if Josh would wear them... So he's not all that bad. Because, you know, for being from the times of lice infestation and once-a-year bathing privileges he really has sweet hair.

 Behold! The Sword of Power! Excalibur!Now this guy really knows how to be serious. I mean look at him...his beard shows how manly he is, his eyes locked in on his evil blood relative who has rebelled against the throne, the fire spewing dragon pictured on his shield shows that he's a member the fire spewing dragon club (which is manly). Now compare this guy's suit of armor with the other guy's suit of armor. Which do you like better? I prefer silver personally, but I will not try to sway your choice. Now between this guys sword and the prince in blue armor's sword (we'll call him Wilhelm the Blue) I like this guy's sword best. Simple yet traditional. I don't get what's up with the little spiky things on top of his helm though. Is it a device to ward off predators, like monarch butterflies do with color, or is it an antennae to receive radio signals for when he's on the battle ground so he can communicate with his general? Hmmm.... Or he could be trying to bond with unicorns. I don't know. It may just be a requirement to stay a member of the fire spewing dragon club.

ArcheryNow let's step away from princes in shining armor whether blue or silver, and let us survey this dark looking archer who is probably up to no good. He's like Robin Hood's evil younger brother who steals from the rich to...well...steal from the rich. I don't want to criticize this guy at all because I would totally love an outfit like this one. Cool obtrusive looking cowl complete with useless leather straps adorning body with awesomely fleched arrows slung over the back and nice tunic probably made out of linen. I would pick a different bow though. Not my style. But for a dark evil-hearted Aelfric Hood lurking in the darkest places in some forest waiting to bring down grief upon unsuspecting rich people, I think it would do quite nicely.

Now, to stop picking on men so much I shall pick on this lovely lady. Her dress is great! She probably spent a lot of time and trouble on it if she made it herself. Or if she didn't, a lot of money. But again, the weird "Medieval Fantasy" poses. What is she doing? "I am a rebellious princess fleeing from my father who misunderstands me, so I have strapped all this useless junk onto my belt and am now flouncing through this weedy field until he changes his mind about my life." Oh my...

Well those are my views on these matters. Until next time!
-Kirsten Elizabeth

Friday, January 4, 2013


OK, I know not about what thou thinkest, but hedgehogs are cute. The only thing that's not really attractive about them is their eyes, which are beady little things without very much character as shown in the picture below. It's probably part of their survival tactics to just stare down their predators. 

Now if hedgehogs had different eyes, their "cute status" would go up a few more points, but there would probably be a lot less of them. This is what I think they should look like...
Isn't that just SO much more adorable? The eyes are everything. Well the smile has a little bit to do with the overall look. But, I mean, with eyes like that who wouldn't smile?
That, folks, is my opinion on hedgehogs.  What do you think? Am I right?

Thursday, January 3, 2013

butterflies and unicorns

As you can see, I've started a new blog. Is it not amazing? It's a whole new world. A dazzling place I never knew. But when I'm way up here...wait... whoa...never mind.
 I've mainly started it because my sister Emily now has one, and I can't be "out cooled" by her you know.
Don't worry folks, this isn't going to be my online therapy session where I can daily spill all my woes of the past week on you. I just want to write about happy things such as...butterflies and unicorns.
So without further ado, I welcome you to this blog with the high hopes that you shall find me a good and attentive hostess.
Until next time!
How I love them so.